1. Feeling other people’s feelings and not even knowing that they are not your own.
  2. Feeling responsible for the other person’s negative emotional state and obsessing about how you can make them feel better.
  3. Being angry at other people for having feelings that are uncomfortable for you (anger, sadness, etc.).
  4. Agreeing to do a favor for someone when you really did not want to, and then feeling resentful.
  5. Not being able to recognize when people are being abusive and cross over your boundaries.
  6. Telling someone what they are feeling, thinking, believing (what their reality is).
  7. Pressuring someone else to do something they don’t want to do.
  8. Making physical contact with someone and not noticing or caring about their obvious discomfort.
  9. Getting closer to another person than they feel comfortable with and not noticing their discomfort (“invading their space”).
  10. Invading other people’s privacy (e.g. reading their mail, their diary, interrogating them when they say they don’t want to talk about something).
  11. Borrowing someone’s personal property (e.g. a roommate’s clothes, someone’s books, etc.) without asking.
  12. Asking inappropriate favors or favors at inappropriate times.
  13. Telling dirty jokes to people who are obviously uncomfortable with that.
  14. Not being able to recognize and accept another person as a separate entity—assuming they think, feel and view the world exactly as you do.
  15. Not being able to accept another person having a different point of view, because it must mean either you or they are wrong.
  16. Trying to control other people or being easily controlled by others.
  17. Either getting enmeshed in relationships or being anti-dependent.
  18. Not knowing or not being able to let people know what is “OK” and “NOT OK” physical and sexual contact.
  19. Confusing past issues with current issues—thinking you are mad at the person in front of you when it is someone in your past you are really reacting to.
  20. Taking responsibility for other people’s dysfunctional behavior and their projecting behavior onto you.
  21. Taking responsibility for the consequences of another person’s decisions.
  22. Not being able to accept your anger without coming up with a reason for it (i.e. what the other person did wrong or some other rational reason).
  23. Blaming others for your feelings.
  24. Not being able to say “no” to someone’s request without feeling guilty and that you are a bad person.
  25. Being easily guilt-trapped or guilt-trapping others.
  26. “Buying” people’s perceptions and opinions of you without deciding if they fit your reality.
  27. Sharing personal information with someone you just met or other inappropriate levels of self-disclosure.
  28. Feeling like you have to answer any and all questions that someone is asking you.
  29. Expecting or pressuring another person to share information they are not ready to.
  30. Not being able to share your internal world with someone who is safe.
  31. Not being able to discern who is “safe” and who is not.
  32. Not being able to identify who is responsible for what in a conflict and whose problem it is.
  33. Not knowing what your needs and wants are.
  34. Not knowing what your beliefs, values and likes are—having no real sense of identity.
  35. Not being able to accept the other person’s right to say “no” to you.
  36. Not being able to accept the other person’s right to not like you.
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