Creating and sticking to rules when having an argument is the key to maintaining healthy communication and finding sound resolution. Follow these rules to ensure safe arguments.
- Stick to the problem.
- Do not bring up things from the past.
- Argue but resolve not to be right.
- Use “I feel” statements.
- Do not be accusatory.
- Do not take everything as a personal attack.
- Check in with each other.
- Do not let your tone escalate, breathe instead.
- Take timeouts if you feel like the argument is getting too heated or emotional.
- Listen to understand, not to respond or rebut.
- Do not freeze your partner out or shut down. If you feel the need for space, ask for a time out.
- No yelling!
- No name calling!
- No throwing objects, pushing, shoving, etc.
- No talking over each other.
- No arguments when either party is under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
