Meaning
Find small ways to be of service to others. Find meaning by serving something larger than yourself. Service does not have to be big to count. Pick flowers in your yard and take them to a neighbor. Send someone a thank you card.
Set Goals
Find workable goals that give you a sense of accomplishment. A goal is workable if:
- Specific not general
- Measurable (you can tell if you met the goal)
- Attainable (you have control of it, not depending on someone else)
- Realistic (not trying to lose 50 pounds in a month, for example)
- Time-specific (set a goal for a day, a week, a month, etc.)
If something goes wrong with your goal, adopt a “what can I learn from this?” attitude (versus a judgmental, “this is why I’m horrible” attitude). Also, be careful when comparing your progress with others. We usually compare our biggest weakness with another person’s biggest strength. This is unfair (and usually not accurate anyhow).
Pleasant Events
Schedule pleasant activities or events. Don’t wait for yourself to be “in the mood.” For example, give yourself permission for a 30-minute “vacation” or schedule a healthy hobby every day. Just remember to do these activities with the right attitude. Also, practice gratitude — take time to notice what went well today, not just what went wrong. Consider keeping a gratitude journal. Know that being grateful for your blessings doesn’t mean you have to discount your problems.
Engagement
Stay in the present. This practice is sometimes called mindfulness. As best you can, during activities try not to be in your head with self-judgment. You may not be able to turn off the self-judgment, but you can notice it and bring yourself gently back to the present. Research shows that people with higher self-compassion also have higher self-worth or self-confidence.
For those who have difficulty with self-compassion or healthy engagement, you can find exercises at self-compassion.org.
Exercise
And, eat right too. Doing moderate exercise about five times a week (30 minutes a pop) can dramatically help your mood. Moderate exercise is a level of activity where it is difficult to sing from your diaphragm while doing it. Also, pay attention to how the type of food or drink you’re eating influences your mood. You don’t have to do fad diets, but anyone will be depressed if they frequently binge on carbs, junk food, and energy drinks. Remember the virtue of moderation.
Relationships
Focus on people who lift you up. Interact frequently with others that bring you up (not people that bring you down). While it’s OK to have some alone time, find a balance and don’t isolate yourself or the depression will linger.
Sleep Regularly
Try to keep a regular sleep schedule. Keep a balance with not too little and not too much sleep. Staying up late one night and then sleeping in excessively the next day is a sure-fire way to feed depression. Also, don’t try to solve problems late at night when your brain is half-asleep. Go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time each day. Naps can contribute to sleep problems. Write down a “to do” list or put one on your phone if tomorrow’s tasks seem to be spinning around in your head.
As you practice these coping skills, know that you’re on the path to overcoming depression!
In contrast, depression tends to linger when clients tell themselves they can’t do these things. Even if you are taking medication, doing several of these activities every day — especially when you don’t feel like it — is vital to the treatment of depression. These positive coping skills may take time and practice, but if we don’t take the time to be well now, the periods of “unwellness” may last longer and/or be forced upon us later.
